Sunday, January 9, 2011
Afriad.
I am completely NOT okay with having Samuel on Tuesday, I thought I could do it and be all strong and confident but I'm just scared and now I want to cry :(.. I feel lame, I can't help but to shake the fear and I feel like I'm failing Samuel by being afraid. Afraid for the Cath he has to get done, afraid for his leaking Pulmonary Valve, afraid of this surgery that would scare the CRAP outta anyone, I'm afraid of loosing him right so soon after I get him because It's not fair. It's not fair. I'm so afraid of everything.
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Oh hun. I know exactly how you feel. It was just 3 months ago that I had Caleb. I know the fear and the feeling of not knowing. If you need to talk, anytime, you can text me at 651-367-4436. Or I'm on facebook, Lauren Doblar. I've been in your shoes, and I know it can feel like you're alone. Lots of hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's not fair. I totally get it. But you can do this. So so soooo many people are in this fight with you, and have run this race before you. I don't know a single CHD family that would not be willing to help you in anyway you need - answer questions, say prayers, etc. If you need anything please reach out to some of these families. It's so easy to feel alone and to feel like no one understands what you're going through but that is soooooo not the case. My son Samuel (Sam) is 2 years old now with HRHS. If you need anything please stop by our blog and let me know!!
ReplyDeleteLots of prayers coming your way!
Kathy
www.lilwim.blogspot.com
You are so right...it is not fair. I wish no one had to feel the way you do and the way so many of us heart parents have felt and feel all too often.
ReplyDeleteI know tomorrow seems so soon and I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I can't make the fear or the pain go away...you are very normal in how you are feeling, but I will pray for all of you.
It's definietly not fair for any of these babies or moms to have to go through. I'm praying for you and your little one as well as for strength. As my husband told me, You have to be strong for this child because he is your child and depends on you. Be brave. I will be in your shoes in 7 weeks. We both can not lose hope. Hugs
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Carlen. I know this is a difficult time and you are scared. It's SO HARD not knowing what the future holds. You want the very best for your son and you are doing all of the very best things for him! He will be in great hands and my prayer for you is that you will find peace in knowing there is a plan and purpose for everything you're going through. Just know that there are so very many heart families who care about you and little Sammy, and will be thinking of you and praying for you and Sammy as you begin your journey.
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone!
Be strong. Stay focused. You absolutely CAN do this! You may not feel ready, but you are. Trust me. It's scary, but it IS doable!
((Heart hugs))
Kathy